I got a call last Friday, just 20 minutes before I was scheduled to leave the office for the long weekend, and it turned our world upside down. The call was the result of a series of conversations that began months ago, a visit to old stomping grounds in February, and a giant leap of faith. It was a call that I didn’t think was going to happen – I was so sure of it, in fact, that Mike and I had planned to sign a lease on a new apartment just two blocks from our current space last Saturday morning. I had a cashier’s check in my bag when the call came. But that call changed everything.
The move we’re in the midst of now is not the move we had planned on making. We’re moving back to New York.
The call was about a job, a return to a place I never should have left in the first place, a return to a city we still love, and that I missed much more than I thought I would. Providence hasn’t been all bad – in fact, Providence will always hold a very special place in our lives and hearts as the birthplace of our little boy – but we have been less than satisfied here for a long while now. And we’ve talked about leaving for a long while, too, but every time we tried, something would happen that kept us here for another year. I joked that this town was like quicksand, pulling us back in again and again.
But right now, I’m sitting in a nearly empty apartment, air mattresses on the floor, the baby asleep in a travel crib, and nearly all of our belongings in storage until we know where our next home will be. We’ll move out of this apartment on Thursday, and spend the next week or so in a hotel outside Boston while I finish out time at my job there. And then, I hope, we’ll have a new address, a new roof over our heads, a place for our little family to settle while we start this next chapter in our lives.
I’m excited and terrified, but mostly, I feel like this is all happening now for a reason. I’m just trying to hold on tightly to my guys and trust that we’re supposed to be doing this exact thing, right now, and that we’ll end up right where we’re supposed to be. I took a huge leap, and I’m still not sure how it will all turn out, but if there’s one thing I want Julian to grow up knowing, it’s this: if you don’t like your situation, you have the power to change it. Things may not always turn out the way you want them to; you might struggle, you might leap and fall on your face, but at least you will have taken steps toward making yourself happy.