Since I can’t seem to muster the energy or the brain power for a proper blog post, I give you a few brief thoughts on this whole pregnancy thing:
• We’ll get the TMI bit out of the way first. As I alluded to over on that other blog, we were not trying to conceive (or “TTC” as the annoying websites call it. And yes, the websites already bug the crap out of me. You know the ones. Don’t even get me started on the books). And after, oh, let’s say years of not doing anything to actively prevent a pregnancy, we had pretty much assumed that it was a non-issue. And I had finally gotten to a place where I was really and truly fine with that. We had never been told by a medical professional that we couldn’t conceive (because we weren’t, you know, trying to), and we never took any steps to help things along. It just happened. And we decided to go with it. My grandma always says, “everything happens for a reason,” and I like to believe she’s right.
• Even though Mike and I have been together for 8 years, married for 5, and I have a great relationship with my parents, I felt incredibly nervous about telling them that I was pregnant. I have no idea why, as they were predictably elated.
• I’ve observed over the years that parenthood can bring out some of the… less attractive aspects of some peoples’ personalities. (Present company excluded, of course.) I really, really hope we don’t turn into those people.
• Our baby is due on September 15, 2011. We said goodbye to our beloved Kali on September 16, 2010. I have been struggling with the proximity of the due date to that anniversary a lot, and I’ll probably write more about it here at some point.
• I have never felt so exhausted in my life. I think I underestimated the double-whammy effect of my usual fibro fatigue plus the first trimester pregnancy fatigue.
• Aside from the exhaustion, I’ve felt pretty good. I’ve had a fair amount of nausea, mostly on the train in the mornings, and mostly triggered by bothersome smells, but other than that I really can’t complain. I feel incredibly lucky.
• The sonogram photos above are from my last OB appointment. We were supposed to listen to the baby’s heartbeat via Doppler, but couldn’t hear anything. My CNM told us not to worry and went down the hall for the portable ultrasound machine. It was probably the longest minute of my life. She returned with the machine, gooped up my belly, and voila – Sproggy appeared on the screen, bopping around and looking healthy and fine. (Apparently, this kid’s already stubborn. I have no idea where s/he gets it from.)
• December 2005. We still lived in Brooklyn during the transit strike, and though I had been able to arrange for rides at least part of the way to and from my office in midtown Manhattan for most of that time period, on the evening of the 23rd, I walked from 53rd and Lexington south to Delancey Street, then to the foot of the Williamsburg Bridge. The only way home was to walk across, and I am absolutely terrified of heights. I took a deep breath, focused on the path ahead, and started walking. It’s five years later and I find myself feeling very much like I did that day.
We’re so, so excited for you two! This kid is gonna be awesome.
First, congratulations! I’m a longtime lurker, mostly on LND, but I wanted to say I’m so happy for you. Re: “And I had finally gotten to a place where I was really and truly fine with that” — that’s exactly how I was about being single … and then I met my husband.
He and I pulled the goalie a long while ago, and that train has left the station I’m sure (I think I’m several years older than you are), but if the unexpected happened, I would be nervous to tell my parents too. I think I would worry that they would worry too much about the risks, but really, I think they’d be totally thrilled. I love your analogy of the bridge — it’s definitely scary, but focus on the steps right in front of you, and stay true to your heart and gut, and you’ll do great!
It’s exciting as it is scary. Even if you were trying to get knocked up. My advice about the prego-mommy websites is avoid a lot of forums unless you’ve a specific question or are well prepared to deal with a lot of sparkley nonsense and random letters (LO, DH, WTFE). And you’ll notice that people will try even more now what to do than ever before. I smiled and nodded a lot. And as always, grumbled under my breath.
I’m dying to know what you think ‘those’ people are like. Although, being in park slope – land of the over-entitled breeders and babies in bars- I ought to know.
Oh, and I’ve read that fresh ginger can help ease nausea. And just think, you’re only a few more weeks away from the 2nd trimester- and that’s when they say the pregnancy fatigue eases up a bit.
I think it is so incredibly wonderful that you have embraced this unexpected joy with open arms and are just going with everything. I too, am a believer that things happen for a reason. I can only imagine the mixed feelings you have about your baby being due to be born in the middle of September. I love the idea though, that in some small way it is Kali’s way of saying thank you for the amazing life you gave to her while she was on this earth and her letting you know that she is watching over you.
Jen, I am so, so thrilled and delighted to witness this next chapter for you & Mike unfold. In my own experience, it’s been life’s curveballs that have turned out to be the most bountiful, in so many ways, and I know this little one has an awful lot of those little, joyful ways in store for you. Sarah’s comment above reflects my thoughts to a T re: your due date and the impending anniversary of Kali’s passing. Your grandma, as grandma’s always are, is right – everything does happen for a reason, some of which can be bittersweet, but I always like to think of the circle of life as a window of light – both to the past, and the future. Your little one has some pretty great guardian angels
On a health-sidenote, working in a holistic / massage therapy clinic makes you come to mind quite a bit – *many* of our clients are expecting and come in for pre-natal massages; we also see a great deal of people reaching to massage therapy to help with fibro. And if nothing else, if it’s your cuppa, I’m all for anyone, much less a dear friend, taking time out for themselves
Re: nausea, while I’ve yet to experience it of the pregnancy-induced-variety, I had crippling bouts of it during 2 1/2 yrs of gallstone attacks – ginger, as you’ve probably been suggested frequently already, was a massive help. Congrats & love again from the west coast! xx
Hopelessly behind since Larry’s MI I cannot begin to tell you how filled with joy I am for you both!