Since I can’t seem to muster the energy or the brain power for a proper blog post, I give you a few brief thoughts on this whole pregnancy thing:
• We’ll get the TMI bit out of the way first. As I alluded to over on that other blog, we were not trying to conceive (or “TTC” as the annoying websites call it. And yes, the websites already bug the crap out of me. You know the ones. Don’t even get me started on the books). And after, oh, let’s say years of not doing anything to actively prevent a pregnancy, we had pretty much assumed that it was a non-issue. And I had finally gotten to a place where I was really and truly fine with that. We had never been told by a medical professional that we couldn’t conceive (because we weren’t, you know, trying to), and we never took any steps to help things along. It just happened. And we decided to go with it. My grandma always says, “everything happens for a reason,” and I like to believe she’s right.
• Even though Mike and I have been together for 8 years, married for 5, and I have a great relationship with my parents, I felt incredibly nervous about telling them that I was pregnant. I have no idea why, as they were predictably elated.
• I’ve observed over the years that parenthood can bring out some of the… less attractive aspects of some peoples’ personalities. (Present company excluded, of course.) I really, really hope we don’t turn into those people.
• Our baby is due on September 15, 2011. We said goodbye to our beloved Kali on September 16, 2010. I have been struggling with the proximity of the due date to that anniversary a lot, and I’ll probably write more about it here at some point.
• I have never felt so exhausted in my life. I think I underestimated the double-whammy effect of my usual fibro fatigue plus the first trimester pregnancy fatigue.
• Aside from the exhaustion, I’ve felt pretty good. I’ve had a fair amount of nausea, mostly on the train in the mornings, and mostly triggered by bothersome smells, but other than that I really can’t complain. I feel incredibly lucky.
• The sonogram photos above are from my last OB appointment. We were supposed to listen to the baby’s heartbeat via Doppler, but couldn’t hear anything. My CNM told us not to worry and went down the hall for the portable ultrasound machine. It was probably the longest minute of my life. She returned with the machine, gooped up my belly, and voila – Sproggy appeared on the screen, bopping around and looking healthy and fine. (Apparently, this kid’s already stubborn. I have no idea where s/he gets it from.)
• December 2005. We still lived in Brooklyn during the transit strike, and though I had been able to arrange for rides at least part of the way to and from my office in midtown Manhattan for most of that time period, on the evening of the 23rd, I walked from 53rd and Lexington south to Delancey Street, then to the foot of the Williamsburg Bridge. The only way home was to walk across, and I am absolutely terrified of heights. I took a deep breath, focused on the path ahead, and started walking. It’s five years later and I find myself feeling very much like I did that day.